Do you know who I'd hate to meet in a dark alley?

An alpaca!

Man, those animals are scary - with that floppy towel like fringe going on. Plus, I can't look at one without thinking, "It's going to spit. Any second now, it's going to spit. It's going to spit. It's going to spit.. ON ME!" before I make a mad dash in the opposite direction.

I've also noticed that with the shaggy thing going on that they kind of look like members of The Strokes.

This is not a good thing.

Flailed by Flan 6:21 AM

Me lounging after a hard day's work.

Flailed by Flan 7:11 PM

For the love.

What is wrong with people? Evidently, several people would like to meet my Laura. The poor sad lives they must lead. I mean really - all the desire one would think she was like Mae West (well except for the lascivious hard drinking man grabbing wench part) when she's really a meek church mouse. And as untasty as one too. For their sakes I hope they don't meet her on a Sunday because she's the most boring person alive. I tried my best to get her to play with me or to go for a walk but she's all whiny and, "But Flannery I happen to be hugging the toilet and throwing up now instead." Priorities! Priorties!

Also, I noticed that she'll be deserting me four days in the next week. Who's the bitch?

Flailed by Flan 7:03 PM

The girl is driving her father to work tomorrow which means I shall be abandoned as usual as he - in a dose of senility, dementia, or whatever it is those looney oldtimers get - doesn't like me. I heard her valiantly fight for my rights:

Laura: *knowing she has no real choice in the matter* Sure I'll take you - if Flannery can come.
Evil Man: She cannot.

If you were to pit a 250+ pound one legged man against a ten pound dervish like dog with sharp teeth, who would you place your money on? I swear (like Laura in heavy traffic) I can take him.

Flailed by Flan 9:39 PM

I'm homehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomeHOME!

Oh yes! I am back and after doing a full sniff inspection of the perimeter it seems that all is in order. Unlike Laura, I wasn't flitting across the western US but instead was holed away in a nasty little kennel in South Carolina. It was the same place where I got my hair cut earlier this month. Oh, it was dreadful. I mean - I thought if my hair was that short after a few hours in there what would become of me after two weeks? Thankfully, I still have my fur which is thankfully growing back. It seems as if Laura got jealous of me being a baldy though as she has hacked her

I was fully ready to flounce out of that kennel with my newly written manifesto in paw and a slew of new names I had come up with for Laura for deserting me for an ENTIRE TWELVE DAYS. However, when I saw her it all went out the window and I ended up jumping shamelessly and happily about in joy. I will never get this glam thing down.

Flailed by Flan 10:26 AM