tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35898132011-06-07T23:38:28.713-07:00Flannery FlailingsInside a dog it's too dark to read, but you can try..Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comBlogger971100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1127660336153080762005-09-25T07:55:00.000-07:002005-09-25T07:58:56.160-07:00Recently, I got a new retractable leash which is pretty awesome. Sometimes the girl tries to wrangle me in when I want to stay further out and the leash gets stuck in the grill of a car. She tries to hastily untangle it, but I just stand there and growl at the car. That's my way of saying to the cars, "If you tangle with the Flan then she will MESS. YOU. UP! That's just how I roll, suckahs!"Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1116735740282425272005-05-21T21:21:00.000-07:002005-05-21T21:22:20.286-07:00Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1115333625538482052005-05-05T15:50:00.000-07:002005-05-05T15:53:45.583-07:00 I saw the girl looking at this picture. If she buys such a purse for me, I'm disowning her and perhaps nipping her harshly as I go.What has this world come to?Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1114184338255939402005-04-22T08:36:00.000-07:002005-04-22T08:38:58.256-07:00The Girl: We should get a hibatchi grill to cook the steaks on.The Boy: Yeah. Of course if we do, then Flannery and Kiki will eat them, go run off to the pasture, and roll around in the manure.The Girl: It will be the happiest day of their lives.The Boy: And their last.I'm allowed no fun these days.Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1109179367219606172005-02-23T09:18:00.000-08:002005-02-23T09:22:47.220-08:00Have I blogged about my best bosom buddy, Kiki, yet? Kiki is the bug-eyed (in a charming way) small black puppy who lives next door. He doesn't walk as much as he bounds like pepe la pew. I'm always scooting away from him because he is always all up in my bizness. A girl needs her space, please. However, recently he's backed off a little and we've been going on the most fun outings. Ones Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1109179072290030532005-02-23T09:11:00.000-08:002005-02-23T09:17:52.293-08:00This morning I was so excited as I hopped in the car along with the girl and the boy. We stopped some place unfamiliar and I got to go in. Wahoo! And then I heard HIM. The man who usually leaves me standing in puddles. I immediately tried to go right back out the door, but the girl grabbed me. She can't ever use her foul limbs to fry me up some bacon but she's all ready to drag me back inside. Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1099495959399854362004-11-03T07:05:00.000-08:002004-11-03T07:32:39.400-08:00The girl and boy (double deserted! which isn't anything like double desserts) have been back less than a day and they bought me a present. But it wasn't a fun present. In fact, I have the same look on my face at this gift as the girl has when I leave her a furry slightly chewed sign of my appreciation at her feet. Except I can't scrunch my nose like that little weasel can.
It's a collar and Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1098896889076470582004-10-27T10:01:00.000-07:002004-10-27T10:08:09.076-07:00
Happy Halloween, Suckahs!
[Note: This image was blatantly stolen from Gothamist] Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1098500171753064662004-10-22T19:53:00.000-07:002004-10-22T19:58:53.990-07:00The deadline for the bookshop's newsletter was today at noon - eek! The girl being as lazy as every had ME write the letter to our dear faithful readers. I was rather proud of the work of my pretty paws so I shall include it here as well:
Dear Booklover,
You may recall reading about our bookstore in the Easley Progress in late July. When it came out, many customers complimented it. When asked Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1098306654017840332004-10-20T14:02:00.000-07:002004-10-20T14:10:54.016-07:00When the girl was little, she used to gather together huge piles of leaves and jump in them with her sister. Yet, whenever I kamikazee dive from the front seat into the backseat full of garbage bags full of trash she lectures me! She looks at my ears a flying and my back legs splayed awkwardly up in the air as I tumble over myself, and all she can think of is how a random bottle might go a flyingMiss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1097626010434381012004-10-12T16:58:00.000-07:002004-10-12T17:06:50.433-07:00The girl was shopping for some eyepads for me because of how my tears stain my fur. (Aren't I sad? Give me bacon to cheer me up.) She came across a site (DrsFosterSmith) which call their product "Show Eyes!" which sounds amusingly enough like "Jazz Hands!" from the movie Bring It On.
I think I know what I'll be sniffing about next.
In other news, the vet's appointment was good. No heart worms Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1097511194483572032004-10-11T09:08:00.000-07:002004-10-11T09:13:53.760-07:00I wasn't invited to be a flower girl and I can get over that. Even if I would have added a grace and a class to the wedding that no one else could have.
Even though their wedding was lacking the greatness it obviously could have had with me spitting rose petals at everyone in attendance, I would still like to send my congratulations and best wishes out to Miss Ann Marie and Matt.
We love you!
Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1097510758644464512004-10-11T08:51:00.000-07:002004-10-11T09:08:10.160-07:00 My girl is leaving me AGAIN and this is what she is deserting me with this time- three cats. Three cats who have no respect for my agility or feistyness as a dog so they gang up on me. It is sad and inhumane.
Even more inhumane than the fact that tomorrow is my annual physical with the vet. Nothing like having a thermometer shoved up your bum to greet the morning with a bright eyed, "Hello!"
Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1088305340795523092004-06-26T19:58:00.000-07:002004-06-26T20:02:20.796-07:00This morning I was being the dedicated bookshop dog that I am taking a little nap as part of my strenuous schedule when all of a sudden I whipped into a frenzied angry flurry. The girl was quite puzzled at my feisty behavior and my frantic barking as usually I am quite the mild mannered charmer. But oh there was NO STOPPING MY ANGER!
Dazed by bewilderement, she tried to calm me down only to no Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1086203474719936302004-06-02T08:57:00.000-07:002004-06-02T12:11:14.720-07:00This Memorial weekend I had to ride 8 hours in the car with the girl, suffer through a blasted bath, and now ulcers are popping up like popcorn in my tummy as they're going to drop me off to be boarded for an ENTIRE week. Why didn't the girl come trained in Sweedish massage and with an endless supply of bacon?Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1085252337634721292004-05-22T11:56:00.000-07:002004-05-22T11:58:57.633-07:00Surely canines aren't the only ones to realize that like "bath", "stay" is a four letter word. Yet, the girl - who is a seemingly educated semi-intelligent girl - yells such obscentites at me ALL the time. Then, she's bewildered when I run from her as she scorches my poor virgin ears. Silly sally.
Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1083720663967681762004-05-04T18:24:00.000-07:002004-05-04T18:39:52.653-07:00Today was one of the best days yet! This boy is extremely gullible, *puts paw over mouth while snickering*, I've actually got him believing that I will catch a frisbee! And he's helping me "practice" with ritz crackers! Ha!
As good as that is, nothing beats eating authentic sushi with chopsticks! Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01998964154109302179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1083615928618273022004-05-03T13:22:00.000-07:002004-05-03T13:30:22.170-07:00Another minor problem I have discovered with my boy, is that he is very forgetful. He often leaves me in too long, so sometimes I have to leave him a damp reminder on his bed.
He doesn't seem to be too angry though, because he never forgets to feed me. Probably because watching me eat is high entertainment to these silly creatures! They even recorded me eating peanut butter! I don't Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01998964154109302179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1083610445704163562004-05-03T11:47:00.000-07:002004-05-03T11:58:17.390-07:00Since my girl has been gone, I've been living with her new boy. It hasn't been too eventful, mostly we've just been laying around on the couch.
The only problem so far is the distinct lack of bacon. And I'm not sure, but I think all the "meat" they've been feeding me... is not meat at all!Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01998964154109302179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1082781012482765572004-04-23T21:30:00.000-07:002004-04-23T21:35:24.483-07:00My favorite west coast lass is a birthday girl today! Much love and sloppy birthday kisses to the charming and generous Ann Marie. She gave me dog treats and my most beloved water bowl so she now has my forever love.
In other news, I've now been groomed. I'm not a shaved weasel this time though as I got a "cocker cut". Embarassing pictures to be taken en masse and plastered everywhere by my Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1082242007132364722004-04-17T15:46:00.000-07:002004-04-17T15:49:41.076-07:00The Mis-education of Miss Flannery
My girl now has a boy which makes him - for simplicity's sake - my boy as well! Wowzers yowzers, another hand to scratch the belly and with which to feed me bacon. He doesn't call me ratdog or threaten to punt me across the room like a football like the last one either - good times!
I get to spend the first two weeks in May with him while the girl goes Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1077753452410393902004-02-25T15:57:00.000-08:002004-02-25T15:59:34.200-08:00I'm Rick James...
My birthday is on Saturday! Shower me with presents! Cute artifically beef flavored presents please!Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1076714483516022892004-02-13T15:21:00.000-08:002004-02-13T15:24:32.840-08:00Happy Valentine's Day, Suckahs!!!
Evidently the girl and Miss Ann Marie have been contemplating the idea of me becoming a hobo. I think I'd look right cute with a bandana on a stick but other than that I'll leave the tramping part to the girl. Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1070341186494945012003-12-01T20:59:00.000-08:002003-12-01T21:00:23.030-08:00So, it's been a while.
I don't have opposable thumbs and I still blog - isn't that enough for you people?!
We're full into the holiday season now which means that we're full into the season of making Flannery wear silly costumes for the enjoyment of the masses. Thus far, I've been dressed as a cow (I rather liked having udders), a reindeer (until I chewed on my antler), and Shirley Temple (Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1067117509438671492003-10-25T14:31:00.000-07:002003-10-25T14:31:48.913-07:00The girl isn't always as daft as she looks which I guess would be near impossible to do, unless you're a gerbil. My latest trick - which goes completely unappreciated by her - is when she tells me to "Stay." I prentend that she's saying "Stay.. ish" I more or less stay still but then I start inching my way to the closest thing which I can hide under. I figure if I pretend that I'm more or less Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1066330765398524232003-10-16T11:59:00.000-07:002003-10-16T12:01:29.093-07:00
Another danger to being a bookshop dogMiss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1064812811967939242003-09-28T22:20:00.000-07:002003-09-28T22:20:11.920-07:00Sorry I haven't updated in a while but I've been too busy being cute
... and working. Does anyone know if there's a bookstore dog union I could join up with? If one exists, I'm hoping against hope that they can help me. Once the teaching me how to shelve fiasco failed, the girl started talking about hooking me up to a wagon of books to display and having me mush around the store. Mush! I'm not Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1060738523473180842003-08-12T18:35:00.000-07:002003-08-12T18:35:23.573-07:00Today, a man came into the bookshop, pointed at me, and told my girl, "If it were a bit bigger you'd have yourself a dog there."
Ha, ha, *nip!*
Yeah, I might be small but that just means I'm at a perfect height to bite your ankle, mister. Before you open your big mouth you might want to stop and think about that crutch you saw leaning against the bookstore as you entered. It might be there as aMiss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-1057587678249397312003-07-07T07:21:00.000-07:002003-07-07T07:24:00.996-07:00I've been a busy pooch with the moving and all. Personally, I'm just thankful that the girl hasn't tried to strap any furniture to my back while yelling, "Mush." Since this is the case, I just run around the yard spastically trying to get her to trip as I jump on her legs while she's carrying heavy objects. As of yet, she seems to have no appreciation for this game.
*I* (and that's who matters Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2004200212003-06-12T18:44:00.000-07:002003-06-12T18:44:38.846-07:00I escaped!!
The girlfriend stuck her nose up at me and made my girl's brother take me back home. I've been staying nights at his house (and been behaving very properly. I have had any accidents or anything. Perhaps it's because he doesn't leave me cooped up inside for 16-20 hours and then wonder why I act as if I'm not housetrained.) Well, it gets boring there. Very boring. So he let me out for Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2003920282003-06-05T20:15:00.000-07:002003-06-05T20:15:46.666-07:00While I'm stuck here with the girlfriend my girl is off trolloping about California with the likes of long nails Ann Marie.
The injustice!!!Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2002937342003-05-14T22:52:00.000-07:002003-05-14T22:52:07.216-07:00I went to our soon to be new apartment and sniffed around a bit. Talk about your fixer upper. I said as much to the girl as she was painting but she merely suggested that I back up before she started using me as a drop cloth. However, I ended up getting paint on me anyway when I brushed up against the wall. Since the paint was "violet puff", I now have puff tufts.
Great, I'm going to be a Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2002822292003-05-12T22:09:00.000-07:002003-05-12T22:09:07.826-07:00The girl has been singing lately, "I've got rhythm. I've got music. I've got a cute cocker spaniel - who could ask for anything more?"
Darling, right?
Well, it would be if she didn't then start singing a list - a smooth top stove, cute shoes, a chocolate covered boy - as she does a little soft shoe.
It's embarassing, really.Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2002716822003-05-10T09:49:00.000-07:002003-05-10T09:49:17.860-07:00Since last time I've been groomed and there's no shaved weasel stylings in effect. It's amazing what using the guard on the razor can do!
The girl went away for the night and came back to discover that I had found manure to roll in. She wasn't nearly as estatic I was and - with no hello or anything - she plopped me down for a bath. Le sigh.
Now, it's back to the grueling work of being a Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2002459082003-05-05T13:08:00.000-07:002003-05-05T13:08:25.593-07:00The girl was petting me and murmured, "Mmm, you're getting shaggy."
*gulps*
You know what that means! Shaved weasel time!Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2002171432003-04-29T10:49:00.000-07:002003-04-29T10:49:39.110-07:00Hey losers, fight over walking me!Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2002159562003-04-29T07:28:00.000-07:002003-04-29T07:28:23.463-07:00After my petulance (hah!) yesterday morning, the girl told me that if I really wanted to be closer that I could start doing her laundry. Evidently, there's no better way to bond than to wash someone else's skivvies. She said she'd even make a frilly little apron for me to wear as I ironed as well.
I decided that we were close enough. So we spent the day in Tennessee instead and we hiked a Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2002108662003-04-28T09:26:00.000-07:002003-04-28T09:26:11.410-07:00The girl told me her she needed her space!
*sobs*
Oh, sure it was just as she was closing the bathroom door as she didn't want me in there (as I have the tendency to want to follow her everywhere) but what's next? Seperate beds?!
Time to curl in a ball and whimper now.Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2002017012003-04-25T17:40:00.000-07:002003-04-26T07:07:04.000-07:00I made a whimpering noise as I was looking at the old man chomp down steak. He glared and threatened to make me a hush puppy.
*gulps*Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2001889382003-04-23T11:01:00.000-07:002006-04-02T10:31:52.503-07:00After over a month of being neglected and having my daily routine upset by no visits to the bookstore because I've been abandoned at the house, I've finally been promised that things will return to their regularly scheduled programming tomorrow. Thank the hokey! It hasn't been so bad or it doesn't seem like it now that I know it's finally ending. I'm patient. I'm long suffering. I'm going to biteMiss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2001595032003-04-16T20:51:00.000-07:002003-04-16T20:56:13.000-07:00Overheard:
The girl: I've taught Flannery how to do the hokey pokey which means that while i sing the song I taunt her with a piece of bread so that she moves in and out - shakes it all about and then turns in a circle. It's been met with acclaimed reviews.
The boy who I'm suspicious that she likes more than she likes me: You should take it on the road. You may become a star! .... Or you may Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2001574502003-04-16T12:09:00.000-07:002003-04-16T12:09:28.573-07:00I knew that at some point my weakness for cheese would get me into trouble. Now the girl is exploiting my weakness to entertain others by having me do the Hokey Pokey. She even talked about taking the show on the road.
I think PETA needs to be called!Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2001376212003-04-12T08:41:00.000-07:002003-04-12T08:52:48.000-07:00I have competition.
I normally wouldn't consider a cat - especially an ugly calico tom - competition. However, this one deems persistent and even has a literary name (Galsworthy). It stands outside of the door mewing (as if that is somehow suppose to charm us. The fetid feline.) and when the girl goes to let me out there he is as if to take my place. At first, I refused to go when I saw that Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2001002862003-04-04T20:17:00.000-08:002003-04-04T20:17:51.686-08:00This week I've been abandoned as the girl can't take me to work when she works someplace "proper" rather than the bookstore. It's been sad and lonely - or at least that's how I act when she returns so she'll spoil me more to try and replace her guilt.
Just between us, I've made a new friend. She's a cocker spaniel too and her name is Missy. She's fat and I run circles around her while she Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2000660812003-03-29T11:31:00.000-08:002003-03-29T11:31:08.883-08:00Sorry, it's difficult to keep up with blogging when you're busy dealing with a smitten kitten. Though obviously not smitten with anything of good use. The other day the girl was telling me how much she loved me (a hobby of any worthy individual) and I noticed a current trend which is worriesome:
The girl: I love you more than anything.
Me: *rolling over so she can scratch my tummy*
The girl: Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-2000136392003-03-19T18:24:00.000-08:002003-03-19T18:24:42.110-08:00If my girl wears a cat mask am I then given automatic permission to bit her and not get in trouble?
It was instinct!Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-908165272003-03-16T18:35:00.000-08:002003-03-16T18:35:14.290-08:00One of the worst things about being a dog is how everytime you turn around (which if you chase your own tail can be quite frequently) someone is multiplying your age by seven and saying that's how old you are. No, I am three years old. That's it. No more. No less.
Yes, I am younger, cuter, and in better shape than you. Face it, stop trying to make me feel bad by multiplying my age by seven, andMiss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-903931812003-03-01T09:34:00.000-08:002003-03-01T09:40:01.000-08:00Yesterday was my birthday.
Now, I'm old. I think I spied a wrinkle this morning. What if I'm turning into a shar-pei? Am I already old enough for a mid-life crisis?Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-903852352003-02-27T12:09:00.000-08:002003-02-27T12:09:52.110-08:00I just added comments to this blog. Not that I necessarily want to hear what you have to say - especially if it is a criticism. However -- what if I'm missing out on someone declaring their love for me? Thus, feel free to use me as your muse. Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-903851662003-02-27T11:58:00.000-08:002003-02-27T11:58:48.106-08:00Did you know that Dorothy Parker used to slip her dog a sleeping pill at night when she took hers so he wouldn't wake up (or wake her up) too early? And this is the woman who MY GIRL admires so much. This can only mean trouble.
And, yes, the rumors are true. I look like a shaved weasel once again with wee hairy toothpicks as legs. Bookstore boy came in to work the other day all set to tell a Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-902956292003-02-08T08:48:00.000-08:002003-02-08T08:53:00.000-08:00Snow Day!
Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-902956262003-02-08T08:47:00.000-08:002003-02-08T08:47:21.436-08:00
I like the girl's new sheets too!Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-902598052003-01-31T09:01:00.000-08:002003-01-31T09:01:09.343-08:00
The Alpackies in Action - WOO BOY!Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-902406212003-01-27T11:46:00.000-08:002003-01-27T11:46:35.980-08:00Dirty Hippie: You smell!
Me: Looks whose talking. They don't call you The Dirty Hippie for nothing, sweetheart.
The house has been invaded. Just our luck that we'd get two girls and neither one give a rip about long nails. Unfortunately, one doesn't give a rip about hygeine others. Such a bother. However, it looks as if I will be getting a bath soon (whenever the girl leaves for long periods of Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-902040582003-01-18T19:41:00.000-08:002003-01-18T19:41:27.780-08:00The girl can beg all she wants but there is NO WAY I'm going to go out in the snow with four hair dryers strapped to my legs as I amble down the highway just to help clear the road faster.
Unless, of course, there's a treat in it for me. Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-901904902003-01-15T19:01:00.000-08:002003-01-15T19:01:19.500-08:00My birthday, the last day of February, is going to be on a Friday this year so I'm thinking that I'm going to have a small little get together (streamers! balloons! cakes! posters hung at the bookstore weeks in advance announcing the occasion!) on either that night or the next day.
I will be turning 3 or 21 in human years so it's kind of a big coming of age event. I'll let you know details whenMiss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-901904762003-01-15T18:55:00.000-08:002003-01-15T18:55:55.273-08:00Dear Mister Landlord Apartment Typey Person - I can do a lot more damage to CARPETS than hardwood floors. Trust me on this one. -Love, The Dog.
A few months ago the girl got really excited about these apartments which were coming up on main street on the second floor of some of the older (from the late 1800s) buildings there. Hardwood floors, jacuzzi bathtubs, smoothtop ranges, remote control Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-901812612003-01-13T23:16:00.000-08:002003-01-13T23:16:08.710-08:00The girl + power tools = I haven't been this scared since I was about to be spayed.
Heaven help us. Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-901442332003-01-05T07:04:00.000-08:002003-01-05T07:04:12.530-08:00New Years Resolutions:
1. Learn how to scratch the girl's back
2. Learn how to shelve books
3. Learn how to bathe and groom self
Obviously, the girl has made my resolutions for me this year after she scoffed at my, "develop more cat like reflexes so that I can defeat my nemesis Calvin" and "eat my weight in fresh steak" ones. Some people have no appreciation for lofty goals. Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-901430082003-01-04T18:07:00.000-08:002003-01-04T18:07:11.723-08:00The girl returns home and greets me with a, "You're so skinny and you stink!" to which I reply, "You're fat and you smell like cat."
Happily reunited again.Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-900795132002-12-21T10:21:00.000-08:002002-12-21T10:21:01.750-08:00Do you know what's not cute and cuddly about me? FLANNERY FLATULENCE. Whoo boy - do the humans not like that one. Well, tough.
Also, the girl isn't a fan of my creative redesigning of her Twin Peaks boxed set. I am now familiar with the full definition of the term "being in the dog house." Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-900512832002-12-13T20:20:00.000-08:002002-12-13T20:20:53.173-08:00One of the customers brought in some pads for the girl to clean my eyes with. Wasn't that "nice"? Yeah, now I get attacked with the lecherous wipes o hell three times a day while the girl sing songs, "Good job, flannery!" trying to pacify me with praise. Yeah, if you weren't holding my face with that iron clamp of yours you call a hand I would have bitten you by now!
At least in a week my face Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-900314902002-12-09T10:45:00.000-08:002002-12-09T10:48:20.000-08:00I hate when the girl defines words that I already know. "Flannery, stay!!.... Um, Flan, that's not staying."
I know it's not staying, she knows it's not staying, but that door that stands happily open as a portal into the free world doesn't know I'm not staying - Wheeeeeee! Old Market Square wasn't as fun as it normally is when I escape. No large holes being dug by bulldozers for me to jump Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-900153022002-12-04T19:26:00.000-08:002002-12-04T19:28:08.000-08:00My apologies. I haven't written due to the fact of depression and despondency of being abandoned by a cold cruel Llew. At least her parents kept me *inside* the house this time. That was a plus. However, when I thought I might spend the night in their bedroom the old man THREW A SHOE AT ME. Luckily, he's old and has bad aim.
I'm so abused.
Today, we had fun frolicking through the snow. A lot ofMiss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-856612512002-11-10T21:37:00.000-08:002002-11-10T21:37:10.883-08:00The girl can be so obnoxious sometimes. This morning I was rolling over and in a shocked voice she said, "Look! The dog *can* move!" and only mocked me more as I flopped back over and scooted on my stomach to nudge her with my nose.
I move! All the time! Promise.
So, we've had the house to ourselves for the past couple of weeks and it's been grand. The best part of the deal is that when she Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-856286072002-11-01T08:23:00.000-08:002002-11-01T08:23:16.596-08:00I forgot to say - the girl tried to make me wear wings.
I definitely think that I need to redefine and clarify the boundaries in our relationship.Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-856285962002-11-01T08:21:00.000-08:002002-11-01T08:21:46.966-08:00I haven't had too much to post about lately mostly because I live with a slug who likes nothing better than to curl up in her pajamas under a large comforter. I want excitement! adventure! thrills and chills! or at least to have my belly scratched more often.
I've been wearing a Lemony Snicket badge ("Please don't ask me about Lemony Snicket Day. October 30 2002) for a month now. It's over and Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-856285712002-10-31T08:17:00.000-08:002002-12-04T19:30:45.000-08:00
My first halloween with the girl and she made me dress up as a pirate. Arrrrrrrrrrrrhhhh!Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-855530962002-10-11T13:52:00.000-07:002002-10-11T13:52:47.146-07:00I went to "Merry Forrest Animal Hospital" today which is named such because the vets who own and run the joint are a married couple - Mary and Forest. Learning this wasn't the only time when I got sick to my stomach. They were all about sticking sharp objects into various parts of me. I got a benadryl shot for my slight tendency to blow up like the stay puff marshmellow man. (The girl almost Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-855429422002-10-09T07:37:00.000-07:002002-10-09T07:37:01.096-07:00The girl isn't content in being tortured by doctor's herself but she has now made one for me at the vet. It's at 10:45 tomorrow morning. Any prayers and large doggy bone donations are welcomed. Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-854434932002-09-12T11:51:00.000-07:002002-09-12T11:51:14.053-07:00Maybe she prefers smaller petite cutesy yippy dogs. Maybe that's it - I'm too large for her to love me. What if my stumpy tail makes my butt look huge? I can't ever tell. I try to look at it but I just end up going around in circles instead.
Le sigh.Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-854434782002-09-12T11:49:00.000-07:002002-09-12T11:49:20.926-07:00Oh no! Just as I was perking up from my dog days of depressions I learn that she is abandoning me again! And this time she's GOING TO SEE ANOTHER DOG.
Yes, that's right. A chihuahoweveryouspellit named Maddie in Pennsylvania who is owned by a Sexpot. I overheard it myself!
The Girl: Oooh! While I'm there can we have a slumber party? Since there's just two of us we'll have to take on multiple Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-854434632002-09-12T11:45:00.000-07:002002-09-12T11:45:49.590-07:00After being kept home for the past two days, I was finally allowed to accompany the girl to work again. And by 11am I had already SCORED!
First, she dropped most of her breakfast (a banana) on the floor. While she was pouting because it was "ruined" (snooty wench is too picky to eat off the floor - go figure), I was scarfing that baby down. She also clumsily dropped the top to the bottle of Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-3854362982002-09-10T19:17:00.000-07:002002-09-10T19:23:41.000-07:00The girl recently got pictures back from her vacation. So, to follow suite here are some pictures of me taken recently. This is of me pining for her as she left me. Notice the complete misery and pain feeling my eyes. Notice that she didn't notice this.
The second is how she treated me when she did get back. Notice that I'm (again) yearning for just a little hello and she refuses to acknowledge Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-853808292002-08-25T19:16:00.000-07:002002-08-25T19:16:15.970-07:00She finished grooming me today. I look like a shaved weasel.
Woe is me. Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-853799082002-08-25T11:02:00.000-07:002002-08-25T11:02:00.360-07:00Questions Of The Day:
Can we start taking up a collection of some sort please?
Shoud I be punished because the girl is cheap?
Yesterday evening, she decided to groom me herself instead of taking me to a professional -- or at the very least a girl named Suzanne whose own hair at least gives me the assurance that I won't walk away bald. I could use a large shield of bangs to keep away the Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-853782492002-08-24T14:17:00.000-07:002002-08-24T14:17:58.976-07:00
Dun Dadunal Dun Dadun Dadunah
Bat Dog!Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-853683832002-08-21T13:40:00.000-07:002002-08-21T21:24:38.000-07:00When Laura's Mom says, "Back dog" - I always hear it as "Bat dog" which has given me ideas. Lately, with G in the car, I've been sitting with my hind legs in his laps as I stick my head (in a lady like manner, of course) out the window. Oh the freedom! The air! If I were to stick my entire body out of the window would I fly?
Today, I tested this question as I tried to make a break for it. Oh yesMiss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-853601272002-08-19T12:24:00.000-07:002002-08-21T12:12:17.000-07:00
Laura got me a new belly scratcher for summer! He's english, has workable fingers, and he is overwhelmed by my cuteness. If he carried doggie treats in his pockets more, he'd be perfect. Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-853683842002-08-18T13:40:00.000-07:002002-08-21T13:41:03.000-07:00Laura invited whole hordes of people to coo over and pet me! Wow!
She ain't so bad afterall.Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-853391242002-08-12T19:37:00.000-07:002002-08-12T19:37:27.760-07:00The girl acts as if I gleefully got sick in the store today and caused a mess. I wasn't having fun, ya know. It just happened - I blame the food her mom snuck me last night.
At least, when I get sick I do it in front of the Nicholas Sparks books. Goes well with the surroundings, I say.Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-853335892002-08-10T21:58:00.000-07:002002-08-10T21:58:07.326-07:00
The girl now places food up on a shelf and giggles inanely as I scrunch around like a groundhog trying to sniff it out. I'm glad one of us is amused by the torrents of abuse I must suffer. Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-3853125972002-08-03T23:25:00.000-07:002002-08-03T23:26:40.000-07:00From The Belle & Sebastian site of Top Tens...
Top 10 Stupid Things My Black Lab Has Done During Her First Eleven Years
(David Scott from I don't know where)
1. Wedged herself under my bed, snagging her collar on a spring.
2. Eaten then regurgitated a Barbie doll's panties.
3. Dragged her toenails across friends' copies of Tammy Wynette's first album and Ronald Firbank's collected short Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-3852814842002-07-25T06:21:00.000-07:002002-07-25T06:22:31.000-07:00Do you know who I'd hate to meet in a dark alley?
An alpaca!
Man, those animals are scary - with that floppy towel like fringe going on. Plus, I can't look at one without thinking, "It's going to spit. Any second now, it's going to spit. It's going to spit. It's going to spit.. ON ME!" before I make a mad dash in the opposite direction.
I've also noticed that with the shaggy thing going on Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-852486682002-07-14T19:11:00.000-07:002002-07-14T19:11:54.896-07:00
Me lounging after a hard day's work.
Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-852486542002-07-14T19:03:00.000-07:002002-07-14T19:03:22.053-07:00For the love.
What is wrong with people? Evidently, several people would like to meet my Laura. The poor sad lives they must lead. I mean really - all the desire one would think she was like Mae West (well except for the lascivious hard drinking man grabbing wench part) when she's really a meek church mouse. And as untasty as one too. For their sakes I hope they don't meet her on a Sunday Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-3852347212002-07-09T21:39:00.000-07:002002-07-09T22:12:05.000-07:00The girl is driving her father to work tomorrow which means I shall be abandoned as usual as he - in a dose of senility, dementia, or whatever it is those looney oldtimers get - doesn't like me. I heard her valiantly fight for my rights:
Laura: *knowing she has no real choice in the matter* Sure I'll take you - if Flannery can come.
Evil Man: She cannot.
If you were to pit a 250+ pound one Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-852296022002-07-08T10:26:00.000-07:002002-07-08T10:26:56.326-07:00I'm homehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomehomeHOME!
Oh yes! I am back and after doing a full sniff inspection of the perimeter it seems that all is in order. Unlike Laura, I wasn't flitting across the western US but instead was holed away in a nasty little kennel in South Carolina. It was the same place where I got my hair cut earlier this month. Oh, it was dreadful. I mean - I thought if my Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-851952172002-06-23T12:25:00.000-07:002002-06-24T12:27:22.000-07:00Today we stayed home squirreled away in our room with the blinds down snuggled under the covers listening to vinyl while the girl alternately read and moped.
If she puts on Bright Eyes and starts crying, that's it. It's over between us. Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-851910482002-06-22T12:12:00.000-07:002002-06-22T12:12:10.203-07:00Now whenever Laura mother comes near I get on my back two legs and kind of dance around in anticipation for bbq or whatever tasty treat she has in store for me. Instead of being thankful for this attention, she just mutters something to the effect of "I feel like a large drumstick."
Oh man! Doesn't she know she shouldn't play with me in teasing like that! A little dog such as me can Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-851891212002-06-21T13:09:00.000-07:002002-06-21T12:58:25.000-07:00Is this site not twee as phreaking Hello Kitty?
Mm, Kitty. Talk about a tasty dish.Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-3851892492002-06-21T13:00:00.000-07:002002-06-21T13:00:17.796-07:00I wish that Laura and I had similar senses of humor. Today, she was waddling up the stairs at the bookstore putting "Staff Recommended" stickers on the books which she has lining the stairs. I am tentatively trailing a few steps behind her as she slowly plods her way up. As she set the roll of stickers down, it starts to tumble down.
Erlack!
It chased me all the way to the bottom of the stairs Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-851892272002-06-21T12:53:00.000-07:002002-06-21T12:53:49.016-07:00 If Laura can put up pictures of me on her blog of me sheared of all modesty and fur, then surely I can post one of her flushed after chasing me around a bit or blushing for whatever unknown reason. Too bad it's not a sunburn as then I would be able to have the joy of taunting her that it might peel. That would be a shame - being on her face and all. Of course, if it took some of her eyebrows Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-851891782002-06-21T12:31:00.000-07:002002-06-21T12:31:30.410-07:00Laura's mother fed me some bbq chicken the other night on the sly because Laura is a table scrap Nazi. I munched happily and thought we had gotten away with the deed.
Then later, Laura is giving my ears a good rub when she leans in and sniffs (how she smells anything with that inferior nose of hers is beyond me).
"You have bbq sauce on your ears!"
Caught again! But oh how good it was while Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-851890982002-06-20T12:02:00.000-07:002002-06-21T12:03:59.000-07:00Yesterday, I spied a woman planting flowers in the lot in the back that used to be covered with straw. Hello! Where am I suppose to have fun now while scratching, pawing, and sniffing around? I won't be allowed in a flower bed. This neighborhood is going to pot I tell you. Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-3851891002002-06-19T12:02:00.000-07:002006-04-02T10:30:11.496-07:00I was trying to get out of the car so I had perched myself on Laura until the door open so I could spring out immediately. So here I am ready to lunge and she tries to tell me that the reason she eats is so she can be chubby so I'll have a place to rest. Oh surrrrrreeeee, Laura - you pork down that chocolate just for me.I'm a dog - not dumb.Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589813.post-851890962002-06-18T12:02:00.000-07:002006-04-02T10:30:24.766-07:00I'm beginning to worry that Laura thinks of me as nothing more than a glorified water bottle to keep her bed warm for her until she climbs in and shoves me aside.Miss Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984012685497568315noreply@blogger.com