Do you know what's not cute and cuddly about me? FLANNERY FLATULENCE. Whoo boy - do the humans not like that one. Well, tough.

Also, the girl isn't a fan of my creative redesigning of her Twin Peaks boxed set. I am now familiar with the full definition of the term "being in the dog house."

Flailed by Flan 10:21 AM

One of the customers brought in some pads for the girl to clean my eyes with. Wasn't that "nice"? Yeah, now I get attacked with the lecherous wipes o hell three times a day while the girl sing songs, "Good job, flannery!" trying to pacify me with praise. Yeah, if you weren't holding my face with that iron clamp of yours you call a hand I would have bitten you by now!

At least in a week my face should be pretty.

Flailed by Flan 8:20 PM

I hate when the girl defines words that I already know. "Flannery, stay!!.... Um, Flan, that's not staying."

I know it's not staying, she knows it's not staying, but that door that stands happily open as a portal into the free world doesn't know I'm not staying - Wheeeeeee! Old Market Square wasn't as fun as it normally is when I escape. No large holes being dug by bulldozers for me to jump into, no old men stringing up christmas lights for me to grab ahold of and run off until they capture me and the bashed bulbs - le sigh. We've been spending an awful lot of time at the bookstore lately. I think it's because we're "dedicated". I don't like being "dedicated". However, I do still greet people with a sniff, a wag of the tail, and a "It's Christmas! Buy something!" look in my eyes. They always misread it as "It's Christmas! Try something" like tugging on my ears until they hurt or poking me. I wish they'd go away or at least learn how to properly scratch a dog's tummy.

I thought the girl had finally caved in her stalwartness not to feed me any "people" food last night when she dropped a morsel for me - wahoo! Then I realized it was FRUIT CAKE. Nice try!

Tis the season for what exactly?

Flailed by Flan 10:45 AM

My apologies. I haven't written due to the fact of depression and despondency of being abandoned by a cold cruel Llew. At least her parents kept me *inside* the house this time. That was a plus. However, when I thought I might spend the night in their bedroom the old man THREW A SHOE AT ME. Luckily, he's old and has bad aim.

I'm so abused.

Today, we had fun frolicking through the snow. A lot of pictures were taken and woo boy am I a cutie.

Flailed by Flan 7:26 PM